This morning I went to Women's Bible Study at a local church. We still haven't settled on a church home, but I knew that I needed the regular fellowship and accountability of a weekly meeting, so the local AG pastor's wife graciously invited me to their study - even though she knows it's possible we may not end up attending their church. Last week the leader of the study, who has been a family friend for many years introduced me to the group. I guess she did it in a way that made me sound like I was somebody. At least that's what the young woman I sat next to in study today told me. One of the take-away's from today's lesson was the power of story and how your personal story with Jesus should be irrefutable evidence of His power in your life and in the world. The young woman turned to me during the table talk time and said, "I want to hear your story - you seem like a Very Important Person."
As I fumbled for what to say next, the pastor's wife saved me by asking her to tell her story of a terrible car accident she was in as a teenager.
As the story unfolded - a shy and insecure teenager; invited to spend the night with a friend; in a hurry to get home to find something clean to wear in her mess of a bedroom; lost control of her car and ended up down an embankment on a blind curve where no one could see her; thrown from the car and pinned underneath; waiting to die; two 13 year old boys unexplainably took the long way home; started throwing rocks at an "old car" down in the ravine; heard her call for help; rescued; miraculously minimal injuries; bargained with God; lost her way; recommitted her life to God. The last thing she said, "When I rededicated my life to God and really decided to follow Him, I felt Him tell me that He saw me there, under that car in that ravine waiting to die. I felt like a tiny dot on this big earth, but He saw me."
Doesn't that just about sum it up? Here I was, truly feeling every bit the tiny dot, a new person in a new town in a new church, but somehow she thought I was a VIP! Don't we all feel it - that insignificance? We put on the bravado - spin our web of influence - smile - act like we have it all together, when the truth is we feel about as big and important as a speck of dust.
The real truth is that we are - all of us Very Important Persons. So important in fact that the God of the universe came down to be with us, to love us, to lay down the life of His Son Jesus for us. We bear the image - the imago dei - of our Creator. We are the most important people to Him. He cares about every heartache, joy, insecurity, sorrow, problem, and challenge we face.
I want to sing like the Psalmist, "Oh Lord! How majestic is Your name!"
When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,
what is mankind that you are mindful of them,
human beings that you care for them?
You have made them a little lower than the angels
and crowned them with glory and honor.
Psalm 8:3-5
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Monday, September 24, 2012
I Love THE Church
I've never been able to choose my church before. I was (almost) literally born at my home church. My parents are charter members. Though I have friends and family who are part of different faith communities and I have visited their churches, I have never had the opportunity to explore other options. Bethel was home - the place and the people. Every single significant life event happened there. I got saved there, baptised there, married there, dedicated my babies there. I grew up in the affirming and sheltering presence of people who loved Jesus and loved me. My home church was the place I practiced my musical skills, where I learned what it meant to live a life of faith; it's where I discovered my call to ministry; it's where I was given the freedom to lead in many different areas - some more effectively than others. My husband of 38 years hasn't really had a choice either, bless his heart. He grew up in a different denomination, but because he loved me and because Bethel was my "home", he joined me there and learned to love it as well.
When new folks would come to our church I listened to their stories and heard how scary it was to find a new church, how often the church and its ministries felt closed to them; I heard about the cliques and how hard it was to find a friend and to "break in" to the "inner circle." I'm sure I must have looked like a deer in the headlights. I had no idea what they were talking about. My mom used to say, "If you want friends, you have to be friendly." (I think there's a Proverb about that...) I really didn't get their point of view. Turns out - I still don't.
We moved to a new town. We're looking for a new place to worship and find community. The search for a new church home has begun. We've only attended two churches so far, but I can already see how difficult the choice is going to be.
The first church we visited was very much like our home church in Chehalis. So much so, that it would have been very easy to just slide in and get comfortable. I already had some acquaintances there and it was the same denomination I grew up in. This church makes "sense" since I am an ordained minister with the Assemblies of God. We got in the car and my husband said with a slight bit of resignation, "We'll probably end up here." He liked it, liked the sermon, liked the people - but I did feel sort of sad that I already had "friends" there and he did not. It didn't seem quite fair somehow. And, a part of me does not want to be comfortable. I want to learn and grow from this new experience. So, even though the part of me that likes easy and comfortable would have liked to make a decision that very day and never try another church, I promised that we would try a couple others.
Yesterday we attended a community church. It is the oldest church in town and though it is non-denominational, it definitely has a more traditional feel. The pastor is Presbyterian, so it probably leans that direction. We attended Sunday School and the Traditional Service because they still have a choir. (One of David's desires is to attend a church that still embraces all forms of music) The choir was, eh. But the people were marvelous. A sweet older couple (Older is relative I know - they are well into their 80s) invited us out to dinner. We completely enjoyed the company. We still have at least one other church we'd like to visit, but this one is definitely a possibility. We plan to go back for their contemporary service.
I came away from Sunday wishing I could go to all the churches. All this left me with one firm conviction. I love THE Church (capital C). Not just my home church, or the AG church in town or this community church, I love the Church of Jesus Christ. She is diverse and wonderful and I'm so glad to be a member of that Church.
When new folks would come to our church I listened to their stories and heard how scary it was to find a new church, how often the church and its ministries felt closed to them; I heard about the cliques and how hard it was to find a friend and to "break in" to the "inner circle." I'm sure I must have looked like a deer in the headlights. I had no idea what they were talking about. My mom used to say, "If you want friends, you have to be friendly." (I think there's a Proverb about that...) I really didn't get their point of view. Turns out - I still don't.
We moved to a new town. We're looking for a new place to worship and find community. The search for a new church home has begun. We've only attended two churches so far, but I can already see how difficult the choice is going to be.
The first church we visited was very much like our home church in Chehalis. So much so, that it would have been very easy to just slide in and get comfortable. I already had some acquaintances there and it was the same denomination I grew up in. This church makes "sense" since I am an ordained minister with the Assemblies of God. We got in the car and my husband said with a slight bit of resignation, "We'll probably end up here." He liked it, liked the sermon, liked the people - but I did feel sort of sad that I already had "friends" there and he did not. It didn't seem quite fair somehow. And, a part of me does not want to be comfortable. I want to learn and grow from this new experience. So, even though the part of me that likes easy and comfortable would have liked to make a decision that very day and never try another church, I promised that we would try a couple others.
Yesterday we attended a community church. It is the oldest church in town and though it is non-denominational, it definitely has a more traditional feel. The pastor is Presbyterian, so it probably leans that direction. We attended Sunday School and the Traditional Service because they still have a choir. (One of David's desires is to attend a church that still embraces all forms of music) The choir was, eh. But the people were marvelous. A sweet older couple (Older is relative I know - they are well into their 80s) invited us out to dinner. We completely enjoyed the company. We still have at least one other church we'd like to visit, but this one is definitely a possibility. We plan to go back for their contemporary service.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Exactly Right
We've been living in Longview four weeks now. Strangely, it has felt like "home" since day one. David said it today while we were walking around Lake Sacajawea (our new Sunday afternoon tradition), "This just feels right."
So what's so right about it you ask? Bear with me while I process a bit.
Where we were:
Everything was the same. Same community, same church, same house, same routine, same friends, same spouse (!), same everything. None of these are bad. In fact, I think a sense of rootedness and stability is a wonderful thing and sorely lacking in our mobile society. For us it was not that any of these things were wrong or bad, but they were extremely comfortable and comfort can make a person tend toward laziness and apathy.
Where we are:
We have felt this breath of fresh air blow though our marriage, our relationship with Jesus and our hopes and dreams for the future.
As a couple we are spending a significantly greater amount of time together; taking walks, working around the house, attending concerts and school functions. In Chehalis, I had my job and David had his and more often than not they pulled us apart rather than bringing us together. Today we had lunch with an inspiring couple from the church we attended. Bob and Mary have been married 67 years. He calls her the 8th wonder of the world. (She says he's the only one who wonders!) They were an absolute delight. If we stay on course with Bob and Mary, we have another 30 years to work on this relationship of ours. We want to be one of those inspiring and delightful couples when we are nearing 90 years old. I think this move has helped propel us in that direction.
We are learning to really listen to the whisper of the Holy Spirit again. It's easy when you have been so entrenched in the life of one church to let that involvement become your default rather than ever take any risks or move out of your comfort zone spiritually. I could have easily kept doing the same things I'd been doing. I was not unhappy. I had a wonderful church and (still have) wonderful friends, but we both feel that there is something new for us here. Our relationships in Chehalis are rich and deep and nothing will change that, but we feel that God is leading us into some new areas. We're not even sure exactly what that will look like yet - but we both sense it. Though there are still some questions about our future (like which community of believers to join), we both feel the reassuring favor of God on this move. We really feel like we are in exactly the right place.
This move has given us courage to think and hope that there are more exciting adventures in our future. Neither of us are big on change. The move was hard. But we did it and it feels exactly right and that gives me hope that there might be more ahead for us.
I want to live every single second of the life God has for me. I don't know exactly what that will look like, but I'm ready to live fearlessly into each season - come what may.
So what's so right about it you ask? Bear with me while I process a bit.
Where we were:
Everything was the same. Same community, same church, same house, same routine, same friends, same spouse (!), same everything. None of these are bad. In fact, I think a sense of rootedness and stability is a wonderful thing and sorely lacking in our mobile society. For us it was not that any of these things were wrong or bad, but they were extremely comfortable and comfort can make a person tend toward laziness and apathy.
Where we are:
We have felt this breath of fresh air blow though our marriage, our relationship with Jesus and our hopes and dreams for the future.
As a couple we are spending a significantly greater amount of time together; taking walks, working around the house, attending concerts and school functions. In Chehalis, I had my job and David had his and more often than not they pulled us apart rather than bringing us together. Today we had lunch with an inspiring couple from the church we attended. Bob and Mary have been married 67 years. He calls her the 8th wonder of the world. (She says he's the only one who wonders!) They were an absolute delight. If we stay on course with Bob and Mary, we have another 30 years to work on this relationship of ours. We want to be one of those inspiring and delightful couples when we are nearing 90 years old. I think this move has helped propel us in that direction.
We are learning to really listen to the whisper of the Holy Spirit again. It's easy when you have been so entrenched in the life of one church to let that involvement become your default rather than ever take any risks or move out of your comfort zone spiritually. I could have easily kept doing the same things I'd been doing. I was not unhappy. I had a wonderful church and (still have) wonderful friends, but we both feel that there is something new for us here. Our relationships in Chehalis are rich and deep and nothing will change that, but we feel that God is leading us into some new areas. We're not even sure exactly what that will look like yet - but we both sense it. Though there are still some questions about our future (like which community of believers to join), we both feel the reassuring favor of God on this move. We really feel like we are in exactly the right place.
This move has given us courage to think and hope that there are more exciting adventures in our future. Neither of us are big on change. The move was hard. But we did it and it feels exactly right and that gives me hope that there might be more ahead for us.
I want to live every single second of the life God has for me. I don't know exactly what that will look like, but I'm ready to live fearlessly into each season - come what may.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
The Last Days of Summer
The neighborhood is quiet - really much quieter than the Orion Place house from which we could always hear freeway noise and trains. I'm filling my days with reading for class, getting the house set up and letting the dust settle in my soul after a summer of hard work.
I always love these Indian Summer days - warm sunny days, cool clear nights, earth tilting, sun slanting, grasses rustling, leaves turning - fall coming. I love, love, love summer, but fall has to be my second favorite. There is something calming and restful about it that feeds my spirit and gives me peace. Add to the mix the fact that I am not working outside the home for the first time in 22 years and you have a recipe for rest. I know its not forever, so I'm relishing every minute.
I will cherish these restful days, where I can sit in the shade of my back patio and watch the humming birds in the fushia bushes and the ducks landing in the slough. Where I can read and study and write and think.
Thank you Jesus for these quiet, filtered-sunlit-days. I'm resting in You.
Monday, August 20, 2012
We are weak, but He is STRONG!
Addie, would you like to sing a song?
Yes. (With an earnest shake of her darling little head.) Jesuh Yuvs Me.
And sing she did. In fact she sang it over and over and over again all week long. Addie and her big sister Annice and Mommy & Daddy spent last week with us helping us prepare for our big move. It's no surprise that the girl loves music and loves to sing - I mean really - it's in her genes. But it did get almost comical how many times she sang her two year old version of Jesus Loves Me. I guess God knew how much I would need to hang onto those simple words this week.
You see, tragedy struck our extended family again today. Our son-in-law's father died unexpectedly.
I did what I could to help. Grieving with the family, doing dishes, preparing food, helping with the baby. And praying - hard. And all day long the words to Jesus Loves Me went round and round in my head. Speaking conservatively, I probably know hundreds of songs, but this is the one that has ministered to my broken heart today.
Jesus loves me, this I know. For the Bible tells me so...
When tragedy strikes, doubt is often one of our first responses. It's a trick as old as time, yet we fall for it with shocking ease. Satan used it on Eve, "Did God really say?..."
Satan's voice whispers in our ear,
"God is holding out on you. If He really loved you, would he have let ________ (cancer, death, betrayal, divorce, job loss, financial ruin, fill in the blank) happen?
Where is your God now?
Bad things don't happen to good people.
You are cursed.
You are a failure.
God doesn't really love you, you know."
If we do not hold on to what we know of God, those seeds of doubt take root and grow at an alarming rate. Soon all we can see is the darkness, as a forest of doubt trees block our view of the Son.
Little ones to Him belong...
No matter how old I am chronologically, or how "mature" I am (or think I am) spiritually, I'm still His little one. In fact, Jesus said that unless I become like a little child, I have no hope of entering His kingdom. Little ones are vulnerable, they are trusting, they get hurt, they are learning all the time, they make mistakes. That's me. I'm His little one. When hard times come, I have to know that I belong to Jesus. However, in our weakened state, those arrows of doubt can pierce our tender, childlike hearts.
They are weak...
When will we admit it? We are weak.
This one is a pet peeve so excuse me while I go on a bit of a rant. It infuriates me when hard or tragic things happen and people say, "God must know how strong you are." Or the classic twisting of scripture, "God won't give you any more than you can handle."
Hear me loud and clear: THE BIBLE DOES NOT SAY THAT!!!!! (And yes, I AM SHOUTING!)
What the Bible does say is that when we are weak (which is all the time by the way), then His strength comes through. In fact it says that His strength is strongest when we are weakest.
But what do we do? We say things like, "I can handle it." or "I'll be OK." or "I don't need to talk about it, I just need to move on with my life." Why, oh why do we rob ourselves of His amazing strength? Because we're too proud to admit that we are weak.
But He is strong...
Do you know how strong Jesus is? He carried the weight of the sin of the whole world on the cross. That's how strong He is. He willingly died a cruel, criminal and undeserved death on that cross, so that you and I would not have to pay the price for our sin. That's how strong He is. Death could not hold Him in the grave. That's how strong He is. He never sleeps, He's always watching, always praying, always standing in for us. That's how strong He is. Do you know how strong Jesus is? He is STRONG! Oh friend, believe it.
Yes! Jesus loves me...
Weak, battle weary, wounded, confused and childlike, I run into His strong arms because I know He loves me. On a day like today that is the only thing I am sure of. And strangely - it is enough.
I am weak, but He is STRONG. Yes! Jesus loves me.
And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate
us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38-39 NLT
Yes. (With an earnest shake of her darling little head.) Jesuh Yuvs Me.
And sing she did. In fact she sang it over and over and over again all week long. Addie and her big sister Annice and Mommy & Daddy spent last week with us helping us prepare for our big move. It's no surprise that the girl loves music and loves to sing - I mean really - it's in her genes. But it did get almost comical how many times she sang her two year old version of Jesus Loves Me. I guess God knew how much I would need to hang onto those simple words this week.
You see, tragedy struck our extended family again today. Our son-in-law's father died unexpectedly.
I did what I could to help. Grieving with the family, doing dishes, preparing food, helping with the baby. And praying - hard. And all day long the words to Jesus Loves Me went round and round in my head. Speaking conservatively, I probably know hundreds of songs, but this is the one that has ministered to my broken heart today.
Jesus loves me, this I know. For the Bible tells me so...
When tragedy strikes, doubt is often one of our first responses. It's a trick as old as time, yet we fall for it with shocking ease. Satan used it on Eve, "Did God really say?..."
Satan's voice whispers in our ear,
"God is holding out on you. If He really loved you, would he have let ________ (cancer, death, betrayal, divorce, job loss, financial ruin, fill in the blank) happen?
Where is your God now?
Bad things don't happen to good people.
You are cursed.
You are a failure.
God doesn't really love you, you know."
If we do not hold on to what we know of God, those seeds of doubt take root and grow at an alarming rate. Soon all we can see is the darkness, as a forest of doubt trees block our view of the Son.
Little ones to Him belong...
No matter how old I am chronologically, or how "mature" I am (or think I am) spiritually, I'm still His little one. In fact, Jesus said that unless I become like a little child, I have no hope of entering His kingdom. Little ones are vulnerable, they are trusting, they get hurt, they are learning all the time, they make mistakes. That's me. I'm His little one. When hard times come, I have to know that I belong to Jesus. However, in our weakened state, those arrows of doubt can pierce our tender, childlike hearts.
They are weak...
When will we admit it? We are weak.
This one is a pet peeve so excuse me while I go on a bit of a rant. It infuriates me when hard or tragic things happen and people say, "God must know how strong you are." Or the classic twisting of scripture, "God won't give you any more than you can handle."
Hear me loud and clear: THE BIBLE DOES NOT SAY THAT!!!!! (And yes, I AM SHOUTING!)
What the Bible does say is that when we are weak (which is all the time by the way), then His strength comes through. In fact it says that His strength is strongest when we are weakest.
But what do we do? We say things like, "I can handle it." or "I'll be OK." or "I don't need to talk about it, I just need to move on with my life." Why, oh why do we rob ourselves of His amazing strength? Because we're too proud to admit that we are weak.
But He is strong...
Do you know how strong Jesus is? He carried the weight of the sin of the whole world on the cross. That's how strong He is. He willingly died a cruel, criminal and undeserved death on that cross, so that you and I would not have to pay the price for our sin. That's how strong He is. Death could not hold Him in the grave. That's how strong He is. He never sleeps, He's always watching, always praying, always standing in for us. That's how strong He is. Do you know how strong Jesus is? He is STRONG! Oh friend, believe it.
Yes! Jesus loves me...
Weak, battle weary, wounded, confused and childlike, I run into His strong arms because I know He loves me. On a day like today that is the only thing I am sure of. And strangely - it is enough.
I am weak, but He is STRONG. Yes! Jesus loves me.
And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate
us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:38-39 NLT
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Quiet
It's just David and me here at home these days. Our house used to be so full and noisy. Now the only sound is the radio or TV; the sound of my husband's happy whistle as he works outside; the scrape of dishes; snatches of conversation. But most of the time it's just quiet. I used to love the early morning because it was the only time the house was truly quiet.
So, why do I still love the early morning? Because it's a different kind of quiet. It's like getting to a concert early to get the best seat. It's anticipation (sometimes dread) for the day ahead. I like morning because the quiet of the early morning speaks of hope.
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
My soul waits for the LORD
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.
Psalm 130:5-6
So, why do I still love the early morning? Because it's a different kind of quiet. It's like getting to a concert early to get the best seat. It's anticipation (sometimes dread) for the day ahead. I like morning because the quiet of the early morning speaks of hope.
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
My soul waits for the LORD
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.
Psalm 130:5-6
Friday, June 22, 2012
Looking for a home
This is a strange season. I feel spiritually homeless without a church home. Every week David and I look at each other and say, Where are we going to church this weekend? I've never had to ask that question in my whole life. Bethel Church has been home to me since I was born.
We've been talking - David & I - about what we will be looking for in a church when we move south. I know there's no perfect church - no perfect pastor. I'm not looking for perfection. And, we probably won't be able to find everything on our list. (partly because we have some - eh hem - differing opinions on this subject...) Here are the characteristics - the qualities we're looking for in our new church.
1. Multi-generational. I love old people, but a church full of old people speaks of people who only care about themselves, who are not willing to make changes and adjustments to include younger families. It speaks of a church full of people who have not taken their responsibility to speak of God's faithfulness to the succeeding generations. On the other hand - I don't want a church that is comprise of ONLY young people - as refreshing as that may be for a time. David & I attended Mars Hill a couple of weeks ago. I looked around and thought, Where's the wisdom in this church? Who mentors all these young families? A church full of only young people speaks of the same inflexibility that a church of only old people does. It's all about me - my preferences, my likes and dislikes. I want to attend a church where there is respect and value for all the generations because that's what the body of Christ is supposed to look like.
2. Music of all genres is valued. This is David's #1. Music has always been important to us. I think we're both past the desire to do big musical productions like the Singing Christmas Tree (well I am anyway), but both of us love a worship service that incorporates "psalms, hymns and spiritual songs." A place where there is quiet reflection and joyous celebration; where a classical piece can be played or sung alongside a guitar-driven newly composed song; a place where the people on stage reflect the multi-generational value of the body of Christ.
3. Biblical preaching. There is nothing wrong with sermon series based on current topics. But I would love to sit under a preacher who simply opens the Word of God and talks straight about what God says. My concern for many churches is that we have created a "just add Jesus" gospel - where adding Jesus to your life makes things better, more convenient. Just add Jesus and you get into heaven - you don't have to do anything - change anything. You just add Jesus to your existing set of values and principles. The Jesus I see in the New Testament says that we trade our old life for His - we don't just add him to ours. He says we die to ourselves and take on a new life in Christ. I'm afraid we've missed that part.
4. Financially responsible. I don't want to go to a church that spends a disproportionate amount of money on it's building - and (dare I say it?) staff. Coming from someone who has taken a good paycheck from the church for over 20 years, this is a big revelation to me. I'm not opposed to paying pastors and I would love to serve on a church staff again at some point. I don't want to go to a church that borrows money to build buildings. I'd love to see a church that places value on caring for it's people - not the building or staff. A simple place where needs are met.
I have the feeling this church will not be a "mega" church. But that remains to be seen.
It feels strange to be "shopping" for a church. It would be simpler if we just went to the AG church in town. *sigh*
We've been talking - David & I - about what we will be looking for in a church when we move south. I know there's no perfect church - no perfect pastor. I'm not looking for perfection. And, we probably won't be able to find everything on our list. (partly because we have some - eh hem - differing opinions on this subject...) Here are the characteristics - the qualities we're looking for in our new church.
1. Multi-generational. I love old people, but a church full of old people speaks of people who only care about themselves, who are not willing to make changes and adjustments to include younger families. It speaks of a church full of people who have not taken their responsibility to speak of God's faithfulness to the succeeding generations. On the other hand - I don't want a church that is comprise of ONLY young people - as refreshing as that may be for a time. David & I attended Mars Hill a couple of weeks ago. I looked around and thought, Where's the wisdom in this church? Who mentors all these young families? A church full of only young people speaks of the same inflexibility that a church of only old people does. It's all about me - my preferences, my likes and dislikes. I want to attend a church where there is respect and value for all the generations because that's what the body of Christ is supposed to look like.
2. Music of all genres is valued. This is David's #1. Music has always been important to us. I think we're both past the desire to do big musical productions like the Singing Christmas Tree (well I am anyway), but both of us love a worship service that incorporates "psalms, hymns and spiritual songs." A place where there is quiet reflection and joyous celebration; where a classical piece can be played or sung alongside a guitar-driven newly composed song; a place where the people on stage reflect the multi-generational value of the body of Christ.
3. Biblical preaching. There is nothing wrong with sermon series based on current topics. But I would love to sit under a preacher who simply opens the Word of God and talks straight about what God says. My concern for many churches is that we have created a "just add Jesus" gospel - where adding Jesus to your life makes things better, more convenient. Just add Jesus and you get into heaven - you don't have to do anything - change anything. You just add Jesus to your existing set of values and principles. The Jesus I see in the New Testament says that we trade our old life for His - we don't just add him to ours. He says we die to ourselves and take on a new life in Christ. I'm afraid we've missed that part.
4. Financially responsible. I don't want to go to a church that spends a disproportionate amount of money on it's building - and (dare I say it?) staff. Coming from someone who has taken a good paycheck from the church for over 20 years, this is a big revelation to me. I'm not opposed to paying pastors and I would love to serve on a church staff again at some point. I don't want to go to a church that borrows money to build buildings. I'd love to see a church that places value on caring for it's people - not the building or staff. A simple place where needs are met.
I have the feeling this church will not be a "mega" church. But that remains to be seen.
It feels strange to be "shopping" for a church. It would be simpler if we just went to the AG church in town. *sigh*
Monday, June 18, 2012
This is how it feels to be free...
OK - it's a bit of a joke, but really, free - that's pretty much how I feel right now. It's been just about two weeks since I had any responsibility at the church and I can't tell you how great it feels! (And yes - I mean that exclamation point!!!)
I wondered how this was going to feel. Would I grieve? Would I regret my decision? Would I long to be back in the fray of the church leadership world? So far the answer to all of those questions is a resounding, NO! (Another exclamation point!) I had a crazy dream the other night that I "forgot" I wasn't working at the church any more and showed up for staff meeting. No one seemed to notice, so I participated like normal. Then I went to my office and discovered that it had been painted with murals on every wall, and there were at least 3 people working there. I suddenly remembered that I didn't work there anymore. I laughed and walked out. It didn't even bother me that everything had changed. That's really how I feel. I know things are different now and (don't take this wrong) I don't care. I've shaken my head a couple of times at some of the changes I've heard about, but it just really does not bother me.
I get up every day with my own agenda and I love it. I may not love it so much in a few weeks when I start to feel the financial pinch, but right now I feel that it is a gift. I've been working hard on my writing for class (and I'd better get back to that right now...) and enjoying my family. I've been cooking dinner again (my husband likes that), I'm not spending nearly as much money on eating out and groceries. I've been exercising again and eating better. All in all, this has been the best decision I've made in a very long time.
Only God knows what the future holds. Maybe after a time I'll be ready to jump back into the church leadership world again. But so far I've loved just going to church (or not). I've completely entered into worship and engaged in the teaching. And when I go home, I take that feeling of peace home instead being exhausted and already thinking about all I have to do for the next week.
So Lord, what's next? Only He knows, but for now I'm going to completely enjoy this freedom.
I wondered how this was going to feel. Would I grieve? Would I regret my decision? Would I long to be back in the fray of the church leadership world? So far the answer to all of those questions is a resounding, NO! (Another exclamation point!) I had a crazy dream the other night that I "forgot" I wasn't working at the church any more and showed up for staff meeting. No one seemed to notice, so I participated like normal. Then I went to my office and discovered that it had been painted with murals on every wall, and there were at least 3 people working there. I suddenly remembered that I didn't work there anymore. I laughed and walked out. It didn't even bother me that everything had changed. That's really how I feel. I know things are different now and (don't take this wrong) I don't care. I've shaken my head a couple of times at some of the changes I've heard about, but it just really does not bother me.
I get up every day with my own agenda and I love it. I may not love it so much in a few weeks when I start to feel the financial pinch, but right now I feel that it is a gift. I've been working hard on my writing for class (and I'd better get back to that right now...) and enjoying my family. I've been cooking dinner again (my husband likes that), I'm not spending nearly as much money on eating out and groceries. I've been exercising again and eating better. All in all, this has been the best decision I've made in a very long time.
Only God knows what the future holds. Maybe after a time I'll be ready to jump back into the church leadership world again. But so far I've loved just going to church (or not). I've completely entered into worship and engaged in the teaching. And when I go home, I take that feeling of peace home instead being exhausted and already thinking about all I have to do for the next week.
So Lord, what's next? Only He knows, but for now I'm going to completely enjoy this freedom.
Friday, May 25, 2012
These Fragile Days
I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Wade Lowrey, dead? There they were, the Facebook messages one after another expressing sadness and shock; yet each one laced with hope and joy. My friend Wade died last night. He was only 34.
Within one week I lost two dear friends - both of them under age 40. Much, much too young to die. At the same time, a tiny one week old baby is clinging precariously to life in a Seattle hospital and my 73 year old sister-in-law is living what appear to be her last days. My friend Jen at 83 is talking a lot about this lately. She suffered a small stoke a few months back and feels the tug of heaven more each day. I know she (not so) secretly wishes that Jesus would just carry her to heaven as she sleeps one night - I think it might just be God's humor to let her outlive all of us.
I know that this earthly life is temporary. I know it, yet I don't always live that way. I've been thinking about what really matters in life so much these past few weeks. As I prepare to move from Chehalis and leave my dear friends at Bethel Church, I've weighed my words and thought much about what I want to say to each one. It's a little weird really - like preparing for your own funeral. So many kind words spoken. So many tears of good-bye. I'm thankful for this opportunity to say important things and to hear some as well.
This life is so short - these days so fragile.
"For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." These words were spoken by the Apostle Paul. We too live in this tension of longing to fulfill every moment of this earthly life that God has planned for us, yet also longing to see Jesus face.
Until that day sweet friends. Live. Live every moment to the fullest. Don't waste one of these fragile days.
Within one week I lost two dear friends - both of them under age 40. Much, much too young to die. At the same time, a tiny one week old baby is clinging precariously to life in a Seattle hospital and my 73 year old sister-in-law is living what appear to be her last days. My friend Jen at 83 is talking a lot about this lately. She suffered a small stoke a few months back and feels the tug of heaven more each day. I know she (not so) secretly wishes that Jesus would just carry her to heaven as she sleeps one night - I think it might just be God's humor to let her outlive all of us.
I know that this earthly life is temporary. I know it, yet I don't always live that way. I've been thinking about what really matters in life so much these past few weeks. As I prepare to move from Chehalis and leave my dear friends at Bethel Church, I've weighed my words and thought much about what I want to say to each one. It's a little weird really - like preparing for your own funeral. So many kind words spoken. So many tears of good-bye. I'm thankful for this opportunity to say important things and to hear some as well.
This life is so short - these days so fragile.
"For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." These words were spoken by the Apostle Paul. We too live in this tension of longing to fulfill every moment of this earthly life that God has planned for us, yet also longing to see Jesus face.
Until that day sweet friends. Live. Live every moment to the fullest. Don't waste one of these fragile days.
Saturday, May 19, 2012
A Successful Saturday
Finally a Saturday at home all day. What am I talking about? Finally a DAY at home all day with no where to go and no people to meet and no expectations except my own.
I drank coffee. I chatted with my son. I cleaned toilets. I checked Facebook and email. I attacked those darn, dead crocus leaves. (Why, oh why do we have so many? Oh - that's right - because I love them in March) I got one bed cleaned out and looked at the other, but listened to my aching back and went in the house. I drank about a quart of water. I checked email and Facebook. I threw in a load of laundry. I drank some more coffee. I ate an apple. I cooked the meat for spaghetti. I checked Facebook - again. I read the newspaper and turned the pages on my new Country Living magazine. (Does anyone actually read those?) I sat down and finally (after nearly 6 weeks) downloaded the rest of the books for the class I am supposed to finish in a mere 6 weeks. Only 800 pages left to read; a one page synopsis for each book (8 or 9 of them) an 8 page overview of the writer's conference I attended at the end of March, 3 query letters and 3, 2000 word articles to write. Yes. I can do this. I read one short book and about a 3rd of another. And now I feel inspired to write. What am I writing? This poorly written piece of nonsense that no one will ever read that's what. But I'm writing again and I think that's what matters.
My back and shoulders are killing me, but I'm going to write a paragraph on one of those assignments. Then I'm going to sit in the hot tub with my husband and get into bed all warm and relaxed and have a good night's sleep.
That's what I call a successful Saturday.
I drank coffee. I chatted with my son. I cleaned toilets. I checked Facebook and email. I attacked those darn, dead crocus leaves. (Why, oh why do we have so many? Oh - that's right - because I love them in March) I got one bed cleaned out and looked at the other, but listened to my aching back and went in the house. I drank about a quart of water. I checked email and Facebook. I threw in a load of laundry. I drank some more coffee. I ate an apple. I cooked the meat for spaghetti. I checked Facebook - again. I read the newspaper and turned the pages on my new Country Living magazine. (Does anyone actually read those?) I sat down and finally (after nearly 6 weeks) downloaded the rest of the books for the class I am supposed to finish in a mere 6 weeks. Only 800 pages left to read; a one page synopsis for each book (8 or 9 of them) an 8 page overview of the writer's conference I attended at the end of March, 3 query letters and 3, 2000 word articles to write. Yes. I can do this. I read one short book and about a 3rd of another. And now I feel inspired to write. What am I writing? This poorly written piece of nonsense that no one will ever read that's what. But I'm writing again and I think that's what matters.
My back and shoulders are killing me, but I'm going to write a paragraph on one of those assignments. Then I'm going to sit in the hot tub with my husband and get into bed all warm and relaxed and have a good night's sleep.
That's what I call a successful Saturday.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Today I was a goat
The last conversation I had with Amy was last Tuesday. She called because she needed help - lots of help. Her rent was past due and going up $50 every day she didn't pay it. Her kids needed diapers. She was out of contact lens solution. She had a court date the following week and couldn't pay her attorney. She was at her wits end. She claimed to have checked with every agency in town. I have no doubt that she did, but she had already exhausted all her options. She was hoping to get in touch with her Dad who had just returned from Afghanistan and could maybe help her with the attorney's fees. She was worried about losing custody of her boys - four and two. My heart broke for her.
I first met Amy two years ago when she came to me for some pastoral counseling. She had left her husband because of domestic abuse. She took her boys and drove to Utah to stay with family for a couple of weeks. When she returned, she was in trouble with the law for running with the kids. Unfortunately, she had never reported the abuse, so the court system did not believe her. She had no job and very little money. She moved in with a lady from our church who ended up kicking her out after a few weeks.
We helped her financially and she was finally able to get into a low-income apartment but her financial struggles did not end. She had back problems from working at Walmart, but was unable to get on SSI. He husband fought her over child support. Her car broke down repeatedly. She just could not get ahead. And Amy had a heart as big as all outdoors. When she did have a little, she shared it or gave it away.
She brought her kids to church as often as she could. The boys loved "Jesus' house." She loved Jesus too and wanted her boys to grow up loving Jesus more than anything. Whether we were able to help her or not, she was always kind and grateful for what we had done. At the end of every conversation, she always said, "I love you Pastor Vicki."
Those were her words to me last Tuesday afternoon when I told her we could not help her this time. After discussing her situation with our benevolence pastor and administrator and checking to see when we had helped her last, it was decided that we would not give her financial assistance this time. I felt like we should have done something - even if it was just a grocery card. But I called her and told her we could not help. She thanked me for all the help we had given her in the past and told me she loved me. Those were the last words I will ever hear her say. Amy died this morning of an apparent overdose.
My heart is broken and my mind is full of regret. See, I felt like our decision not to help at all lacked compassion. I thought we should have done something. But I did not fight for Amy. The worst of it is, I felt the Holy Spirit say, You could buy her some diapers and contact solution. I thought, Yes, I could. But then I didn't. I meant to, but I didn't. I put her and her problems out of my mind. In the end, it may or may not have helped. But I did not do what little I could. Now two little boys do not have a Mama and I will always wonder if a little kindness would have helped her somehow. The "church" didn't help her, but I could have.
I am grateful for the voice of the Holy Spirit in the middle of this tragedy. I know that I am forgiven, but I never want to forget this moment.
37 “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? 39 When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’
40 “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’
41 “Then the King will turn to those on the left and say, ‘Away with you, you cursed ones, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his demons.
42 For I was hungry, and you didn’t feed me. I was thirsty, and you didn’t give me a drink. 43 I was a stranger, and you didn’t invite me into your home. I was naked, and you didn’t give me clothing. I was sick and in prison, and you didn’t visit me.’
44 “Then they will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and not help you?’
45 “And he will answer, ‘I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me.’
46 “And they will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous will go into eternal life.”
I first met Amy two years ago when she came to me for some pastoral counseling. She had left her husband because of domestic abuse. She took her boys and drove to Utah to stay with family for a couple of weeks. When she returned, she was in trouble with the law for running with the kids. Unfortunately, she had never reported the abuse, so the court system did not believe her. She had no job and very little money. She moved in with a lady from our church who ended up kicking her out after a few weeks.
We helped her financially and she was finally able to get into a low-income apartment but her financial struggles did not end. She had back problems from working at Walmart, but was unable to get on SSI. He husband fought her over child support. Her car broke down repeatedly. She just could not get ahead. And Amy had a heart as big as all outdoors. When she did have a little, she shared it or gave it away.
She brought her kids to church as often as she could. The boys loved "Jesus' house." She loved Jesus too and wanted her boys to grow up loving Jesus more than anything. Whether we were able to help her or not, she was always kind and grateful for what we had done. At the end of every conversation, she always said, "I love you Pastor Vicki."
Those were her words to me last Tuesday afternoon when I told her we could not help her this time. After discussing her situation with our benevolence pastor and administrator and checking to see when we had helped her last, it was decided that we would not give her financial assistance this time. I felt like we should have done something - even if it was just a grocery card. But I called her and told her we could not help. She thanked me for all the help we had given her in the past and told me she loved me. Those were the last words I will ever hear her say. Amy died this morning of an apparent overdose.
My heart is broken and my mind is full of regret. See, I felt like our decision not to help at all lacked compassion. I thought we should have done something. But I did not fight for Amy. The worst of it is, I felt the Holy Spirit say, You could buy her some diapers and contact solution. I thought, Yes, I could. But then I didn't. I meant to, but I didn't. I put her and her problems out of my mind. In the end, it may or may not have helped. But I did not do what little I could. Now two little boys do not have a Mama and I will always wonder if a little kindness would have helped her somehow. The "church" didn't help her, but I could have.
I am grateful for the voice of the Holy Spirit in the middle of this tragedy. I know that I am forgiven, but I never want to forget this moment.
The Final Judgment
Matthew 25:31-46
31 “But when the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit upon his glorious throne. 32 All the nations will be gathered in his presence, and he will separate the people as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will place the sheep at his right hand and the goats at his left.
34 “Then
the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by
my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the
world. 35 For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. 36 I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’37 “Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? 39 When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’
40 “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’
41 “Then the King will turn to those on the left and say, ‘Away with you, you cursed ones, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his demons.
42 For I was hungry, and you didn’t feed me. I was thirsty, and you didn’t give me a drink. 43 I was a stranger, and you didn’t invite me into your home. I was naked, and you didn’t give me clothing. I was sick and in prison, and you didn’t visit me.’
44 “Then they will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and not help you?’
45 “And he will answer, ‘I tell you the truth, when you refused to help the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were refusing to help me.’
46 “And they will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous will go into eternal life.”
Thursday, April 26, 2012
C-C-C-C-Courage!
My life is about to take a dramatic (for me) turn in a new direction. After 22 years on staff and a lifetime of attendance, I'm about to leave my home church and embark on a new season. Last fall my husband took a teaching job that requires an hour drive each way. We wanted to give it a while to settle in to see if this might require a move on our part and so, as the school year is winding down - and the daily drive seems longer with every passing day - we have made the decision to move. Lots of people move. But not us. We are the Rock people. We are Giant Oaks with deep roots.
I've felt this stirring, this shifting, this moving in my spirit for several years now. It was only the job and the drive that motivated my husband however. He just couldn't see any logical reason to leave. Now we have one. Now the door is open. If we do not walk through it now, we never will.
I thought that was my greatest fear - to live and die in the same small town, to never experience life outside Lewis County. I've yearned for a move, prayed for it, actually begged God for it, and now it's here and I'm terrified. But not in the way you'd expect.
I'm excited at the prospect of a new church and making new friends. I've wondered what it would be like to walk into a church, into a community where I have no history. Will people like me? Will I fit? Will I have an opportunity to blossom and grow? Or, will people shut me out, and be threatened by the presence of a new-comer? These are the things I've heard over the years from people who have moved into our little town and into our church. Some, like me have come from a place of authority and position - a place where they were the go-to girl. They have complained - sometimes bitterly - that they can't break into the "clique" - that no one will let them do what they were called to do.
One of the things I don't understand about this move is that while my husband has a job, I have nothing. No new ministry position to step into. I feel that I am just beginning to peak in knowledge, skill and wisdom. I know the call of God is still on my life, yet I am stepping into the black hole called "transition." The very word implies a move into something new - a new direction, position or ministry. I'm afraid that I will get as stuck in the "transition" phase of my life as I have been in this last, long season. I'm afraid I never will actually "transition." I feel exposed and vulnerable.
I'm also afraid that I'm making a mistake. I'm afraid I'll end up like Violet Biggs in It's a Wonderful Life. I'm afraid I'll come slinking sheepishly back to Chehalis. "Silly me. What was I thinking? This is home."
I think that's why the word COURAGE has become my new favorite word. I'm not naturally a courageous person. I'm not a risk taker. But I believe God has opened this door and I'm going to swallow my fear and walk through it. I'm speaking Joshua 1:9 out loud over my life:
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Because He is with me, I will not fear.
I've felt this stirring, this shifting, this moving in my spirit for several years now. It was only the job and the drive that motivated my husband however. He just couldn't see any logical reason to leave. Now we have one. Now the door is open. If we do not walk through it now, we never will.
I thought that was my greatest fear - to live and die in the same small town, to never experience life outside Lewis County. I've yearned for a move, prayed for it, actually begged God for it, and now it's here and I'm terrified. But not in the way you'd expect.
I'm excited at the prospect of a new church and making new friends. I've wondered what it would be like to walk into a church, into a community where I have no history. Will people like me? Will I fit? Will I have an opportunity to blossom and grow? Or, will people shut me out, and be threatened by the presence of a new-comer? These are the things I've heard over the years from people who have moved into our little town and into our church. Some, like me have come from a place of authority and position - a place where they were the go-to girl. They have complained - sometimes bitterly - that they can't break into the "clique" - that no one will let them do what they were called to do.
One of the things I don't understand about this move is that while my husband has a job, I have nothing. No new ministry position to step into. I feel that I am just beginning to peak in knowledge, skill and wisdom. I know the call of God is still on my life, yet I am stepping into the black hole called "transition." The very word implies a move into something new - a new direction, position or ministry. I'm afraid that I will get as stuck in the "transition" phase of my life as I have been in this last, long season. I'm afraid I never will actually "transition." I feel exposed and vulnerable.
I'm also afraid that I'm making a mistake. I'm afraid I'll end up like Violet Biggs in It's a Wonderful Life. I'm afraid I'll come slinking sheepishly back to Chehalis. "Silly me. What was I thinking? This is home."
I think that's why the word COURAGE has become my new favorite word. I'm not naturally a courageous person. I'm not a risk taker. But I believe God has opened this door and I'm going to swallow my fear and walk through it. I'm speaking Joshua 1:9 out loud over my life:
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
Because He is with me, I will not fear.
Monday, April 16, 2012
One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”
Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’
All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”(Matthew 22:35-40)
Scot McKnight calls this, The Jesus Creed.
Creed is defined:
We Christians are so good at fooling ourselves into thinking that we are living The Jesus Creed. After all - we do love the Lord. We sing it and we say it, but I submit that we - none of us - are very good at living it.
We could do it if it wasn't for that pesky little phrase Jesus added at the end - the part about loving your neighbor. See, John the Apostle clarified it for us. He says if you don't do the latter, you are never able to do the former.
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.
This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as
an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. (1 John 4:7-10)
Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.1 Peter 3:7-9
So I ask along with the religious rulers of the day, "Who is my neighbor?" Nope. On second thought, I'm not really asking the "who" question. I think Jesus explained that pretty well. I want to know how - not who. I want to know what - not who. I want to know when - not who.
How do I love when I just plain don't feel like it - when my neighbor is not a "despised Samaritan", but someone that I am ambivalent towards? Maybe ambivalence is hatred after all.
What does that love really look like in practical terms? Mostly it seems like it looks like TIME. Oh. I hoard my time like a miser hoards pennies.
When does love step in and when does it stand back? Sometimes love propels me right into the middle of something I'd rather stay out of. I have valued safety and security above sacrificial love.
Father - help me love sacrificially, courageously, boldly, no holding back, no more excuses. Help me live The Jesus Creed.
Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’
All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”(Matthew 22:35-40)
Scot McKnight calls this, The Jesus Creed.
Creed is defined:
1. A formal statement of religious belief; a confession of faith.
2. A system of belief, principles, or opinions.We Christians are so good at fooling ourselves into thinking that we are living The Jesus Creed. After all - we do love the Lord. We sing it and we say it, but I submit that we - none of us - are very good at living it.
We could do it if it wasn't for that pesky little phrase Jesus added at the end - the part about loving your neighbor. See, John the Apostle clarified it for us. He says if you don't do the latter, you are never able to do the former.
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.
This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as
an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. (1 John 4:7-10)
Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.1 Peter 3:7-9
So I ask along with the religious rulers of the day, "Who is my neighbor?" Nope. On second thought, I'm not really asking the "who" question. I think Jesus explained that pretty well. I want to know how - not who. I want to know what - not who. I want to know when - not who.
How do I love when I just plain don't feel like it - when my neighbor is not a "despised Samaritan", but someone that I am ambivalent towards? Maybe ambivalence is hatred after all.
What does that love really look like in practical terms? Mostly it seems like it looks like TIME. Oh. I hoard my time like a miser hoards pennies.
When does love step in and when does it stand back? Sometimes love propels me right into the middle of something I'd rather stay out of. I have valued safety and security above sacrificial love.
Father - help me love sacrificially, courageously, boldly, no holding back, no more excuses. Help me live The Jesus Creed.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Snowmageddon 2012
We are weather lightweights here in the Pacific Northwest. We have a predictable weather menu: Rain, sun, sun breaks, rain, repeat. When something out of the ordinary happens we get pretty excited. This week has been one of those weeks. After a ridiculously mild December (one of the driest on record) January was cruising along much like it always does - that is until Sunday.
Snow hit. We really like snow here. We don't get much and when we do it usually lasts a day or two - just enough for the kids to get a day off school, sled, build snow forts and snow people - and then it's back to normal. When the weather forecast was predicting record snowfall, most of us didn't believe it. (Well - I didn't believe it) I'm not sure why, but weather forecasting is pretty unreliable in this part of the country. I guess I'm thankful that we don't have tornadoes and such - we'd never know what hit us. Sunday's snowfall was nice, but pretty normal. 2 - 3 inches, then rain. None to speak of on Monday. A few more inches on Tuesday. Then about 1:00 a.m. Wednesday morning it started to fall. It fell, and fell and fell. Seventeen inches worth! What? The weather forecast was right???? Then the temperature hovered right around freezing all day. (OK. The weather forecast wasn't EXACTLY right. It was supposed to rain.) Nightime brought freezing temperatures and then freezing rain. Freezing rain on top of seventeen inches of snow. Yea, we're not going anyplace for a while.
It's been a beautiful week for me. I had a lot of writing to do and this forced snow retreat has been just the ticket. I finally feel on top of things and might actually make a writing deadline without having to ask for an extension! Hooray for snow!!!!
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