This morning I went to Women's Bible Study at a local church. We still haven't settled on a church home, but I knew that I needed the regular fellowship and accountability of a weekly meeting, so the local AG pastor's wife graciously invited me to their study - even though she knows it's possible we may not end up attending their church. Last week the leader of the study, who has been a family friend for many years introduced me to the group. I guess she did it in a way that made me sound like I was somebody. At least that's what the young woman I sat next to in study today told me. One of the take-away's from today's lesson was the power of story and how your personal story with Jesus should be irrefutable evidence of His power in your life and in the world. The young woman turned to me during the table talk time and said, "I want to hear your story - you seem like a Very Important Person."
As I fumbled for what to say next, the pastor's wife saved me by asking her to tell her story of a terrible car accident she was in as a teenager.
As the story unfolded - a shy and insecure teenager; invited to spend the night with a friend; in a hurry to get home to find something clean to wear in her mess of a bedroom; lost control of her car and ended up down an embankment on a blind curve where no one could see her; thrown from the car and pinned underneath; waiting to die; two 13 year old boys unexplainably took the long way home; started throwing rocks at an "old car" down in the ravine; heard her call for help; rescued; miraculously minimal injuries; bargained with God; lost her way; recommitted her life to God. The last thing she said, "When I rededicated my life to God and really decided to follow Him, I felt Him tell me that He saw me there, under that car in that ravine waiting to die. I felt like a tiny dot on this big earth, but He saw me."
Doesn't that just about sum it up? Here I was, truly feeling every bit the tiny dot, a new person in a new town in a new church, but somehow she thought I was a VIP! Don't we all feel it - that insignificance? We put on the bravado - spin our web of influence - smile - act like we have it all together, when the truth is we feel about as big and important as a speck of dust.
The real truth is that we are - all of us Very Important Persons. So important in fact that the God of the universe came down to be with us, to love us, to lay down the life of His Son Jesus for us. We bear the image - the imago dei - of our Creator. We are the most important people to Him. He cares about every heartache, joy, insecurity, sorrow, problem, and challenge we face.
I want to sing like the Psalmist, "Oh Lord! How majestic is Your name!"
When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,
what is mankind that you are mindful of them,
human beings that you care for them?
You have made them a little lower than the angels
and crowned them with glory and honor.
Psalm 8:3-5
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Monday, September 24, 2012
I Love THE Church
I've never been able to choose my church before. I was (almost) literally born at my home church. My parents are charter members. Though I have friends and family who are part of different faith communities and I have visited their churches, I have never had the opportunity to explore other options. Bethel was home - the place and the people. Every single significant life event happened there. I got saved there, baptised there, married there, dedicated my babies there. I grew up in the affirming and sheltering presence of people who loved Jesus and loved me. My home church was the place I practiced my musical skills, where I learned what it meant to live a life of faith; it's where I discovered my call to ministry; it's where I was given the freedom to lead in many different areas - some more effectively than others. My husband of 38 years hasn't really had a choice either, bless his heart. He grew up in a different denomination, but because he loved me and because Bethel was my "home", he joined me there and learned to love it as well.
When new folks would come to our church I listened to their stories and heard how scary it was to find a new church, how often the church and its ministries felt closed to them; I heard about the cliques and how hard it was to find a friend and to "break in" to the "inner circle." I'm sure I must have looked like a deer in the headlights. I had no idea what they were talking about. My mom used to say, "If you want friends, you have to be friendly." (I think there's a Proverb about that...) I really didn't get their point of view. Turns out - I still don't.
We moved to a new town. We're looking for a new place to worship and find community. The search for a new church home has begun. We've only attended two churches so far, but I can already see how difficult the choice is going to be.
The first church we visited was very much like our home church in Chehalis. So much so, that it would have been very easy to just slide in and get comfortable. I already had some acquaintances there and it was the same denomination I grew up in. This church makes "sense" since I am an ordained minister with the Assemblies of God. We got in the car and my husband said with a slight bit of resignation, "We'll probably end up here." He liked it, liked the sermon, liked the people - but I did feel sort of sad that I already had "friends" there and he did not. It didn't seem quite fair somehow. And, a part of me does not want to be comfortable. I want to learn and grow from this new experience. So, even though the part of me that likes easy and comfortable would have liked to make a decision that very day and never try another church, I promised that we would try a couple others.
Yesterday we attended a community church. It is the oldest church in town and though it is non-denominational, it definitely has a more traditional feel. The pastor is Presbyterian, so it probably leans that direction. We attended Sunday School and the Traditional Service because they still have a choir. (One of David's desires is to attend a church that still embraces all forms of music) The choir was, eh. But the people were marvelous. A sweet older couple (Older is relative I know - they are well into their 80s) invited us out to dinner. We completely enjoyed the company. We still have at least one other church we'd like to visit, but this one is definitely a possibility. We plan to go back for their contemporary service.
I came away from Sunday wishing I could go to all the churches. All this left me with one firm conviction. I love THE Church (capital C). Not just my home church, or the AG church in town or this community church, I love the Church of Jesus Christ. She is diverse and wonderful and I'm so glad to be a member of that Church.
When new folks would come to our church I listened to their stories and heard how scary it was to find a new church, how often the church and its ministries felt closed to them; I heard about the cliques and how hard it was to find a friend and to "break in" to the "inner circle." I'm sure I must have looked like a deer in the headlights. I had no idea what they were talking about. My mom used to say, "If you want friends, you have to be friendly." (I think there's a Proverb about that...) I really didn't get their point of view. Turns out - I still don't.
We moved to a new town. We're looking for a new place to worship and find community. The search for a new church home has begun. We've only attended two churches so far, but I can already see how difficult the choice is going to be.
The first church we visited was very much like our home church in Chehalis. So much so, that it would have been very easy to just slide in and get comfortable. I already had some acquaintances there and it was the same denomination I grew up in. This church makes "sense" since I am an ordained minister with the Assemblies of God. We got in the car and my husband said with a slight bit of resignation, "We'll probably end up here." He liked it, liked the sermon, liked the people - but I did feel sort of sad that I already had "friends" there and he did not. It didn't seem quite fair somehow. And, a part of me does not want to be comfortable. I want to learn and grow from this new experience. So, even though the part of me that likes easy and comfortable would have liked to make a decision that very day and never try another church, I promised that we would try a couple others.
Yesterday we attended a community church. It is the oldest church in town and though it is non-denominational, it definitely has a more traditional feel. The pastor is Presbyterian, so it probably leans that direction. We attended Sunday School and the Traditional Service because they still have a choir. (One of David's desires is to attend a church that still embraces all forms of music) The choir was, eh. But the people were marvelous. A sweet older couple (Older is relative I know - they are well into their 80s) invited us out to dinner. We completely enjoyed the company. We still have at least one other church we'd like to visit, but this one is definitely a possibility. We plan to go back for their contemporary service.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Exactly Right
We've been living in Longview four weeks now. Strangely, it has felt like "home" since day one. David said it today while we were walking around Lake Sacajawea (our new Sunday afternoon tradition), "This just feels right."
So what's so right about it you ask? Bear with me while I process a bit.
Where we were:
Everything was the same. Same community, same church, same house, same routine, same friends, same spouse (!), same everything. None of these are bad. In fact, I think a sense of rootedness and stability is a wonderful thing and sorely lacking in our mobile society. For us it was not that any of these things were wrong or bad, but they were extremely comfortable and comfort can make a person tend toward laziness and apathy.
Where we are:
We have felt this breath of fresh air blow though our marriage, our relationship with Jesus and our hopes and dreams for the future.
As a couple we are spending a significantly greater amount of time together; taking walks, working around the house, attending concerts and school functions. In Chehalis, I had my job and David had his and more often than not they pulled us apart rather than bringing us together. Today we had lunch with an inspiring couple from the church we attended. Bob and Mary have been married 67 years. He calls her the 8th wonder of the world. (She says he's the only one who wonders!) They were an absolute delight. If we stay on course with Bob and Mary, we have another 30 years to work on this relationship of ours. We want to be one of those inspiring and delightful couples when we are nearing 90 years old. I think this move has helped propel us in that direction.
We are learning to really listen to the whisper of the Holy Spirit again. It's easy when you have been so entrenched in the life of one church to let that involvement become your default rather than ever take any risks or move out of your comfort zone spiritually. I could have easily kept doing the same things I'd been doing. I was not unhappy. I had a wonderful church and (still have) wonderful friends, but we both feel that there is something new for us here. Our relationships in Chehalis are rich and deep and nothing will change that, but we feel that God is leading us into some new areas. We're not even sure exactly what that will look like yet - but we both sense it. Though there are still some questions about our future (like which community of believers to join), we both feel the reassuring favor of God on this move. We really feel like we are in exactly the right place.
This move has given us courage to think and hope that there are more exciting adventures in our future. Neither of us are big on change. The move was hard. But we did it and it feels exactly right and that gives me hope that there might be more ahead for us.
I want to live every single second of the life God has for me. I don't know exactly what that will look like, but I'm ready to live fearlessly into each season - come what may.
So what's so right about it you ask? Bear with me while I process a bit.
Where we were:
Everything was the same. Same community, same church, same house, same routine, same friends, same spouse (!), same everything. None of these are bad. In fact, I think a sense of rootedness and stability is a wonderful thing and sorely lacking in our mobile society. For us it was not that any of these things were wrong or bad, but they were extremely comfortable and comfort can make a person tend toward laziness and apathy.
Where we are:
We have felt this breath of fresh air blow though our marriage, our relationship with Jesus and our hopes and dreams for the future.
As a couple we are spending a significantly greater amount of time together; taking walks, working around the house, attending concerts and school functions. In Chehalis, I had my job and David had his and more often than not they pulled us apart rather than bringing us together. Today we had lunch with an inspiring couple from the church we attended. Bob and Mary have been married 67 years. He calls her the 8th wonder of the world. (She says he's the only one who wonders!) They were an absolute delight. If we stay on course with Bob and Mary, we have another 30 years to work on this relationship of ours. We want to be one of those inspiring and delightful couples when we are nearing 90 years old. I think this move has helped propel us in that direction.
We are learning to really listen to the whisper of the Holy Spirit again. It's easy when you have been so entrenched in the life of one church to let that involvement become your default rather than ever take any risks or move out of your comfort zone spiritually. I could have easily kept doing the same things I'd been doing. I was not unhappy. I had a wonderful church and (still have) wonderful friends, but we both feel that there is something new for us here. Our relationships in Chehalis are rich and deep and nothing will change that, but we feel that God is leading us into some new areas. We're not even sure exactly what that will look like yet - but we both sense it. Though there are still some questions about our future (like which community of believers to join), we both feel the reassuring favor of God on this move. We really feel like we are in exactly the right place.
This move has given us courage to think and hope that there are more exciting adventures in our future. Neither of us are big on change. The move was hard. But we did it and it feels exactly right and that gives me hope that there might be more ahead for us.
I want to live every single second of the life God has for me. I don't know exactly what that will look like, but I'm ready to live fearlessly into each season - come what may.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
The Last Days of Summer
The neighborhood is quiet - really much quieter than the Orion Place house from which we could always hear freeway noise and trains. I'm filling my days with reading for class, getting the house set up and letting the dust settle in my soul after a summer of hard work.
I always love these Indian Summer days - warm sunny days, cool clear nights, earth tilting, sun slanting, grasses rustling, leaves turning - fall coming. I love, love, love summer, but fall has to be my second favorite. There is something calming and restful about it that feeds my spirit and gives me peace. Add to the mix the fact that I am not working outside the home for the first time in 22 years and you have a recipe for rest. I know its not forever, so I'm relishing every minute.
I will cherish these restful days, where I can sit in the shade of my back patio and watch the humming birds in the fushia bushes and the ducks landing in the slough. Where I can read and study and write and think.
Thank you Jesus for these quiet, filtered-sunlit-days. I'm resting in You.
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