C-C-C-C-Courage!

My life is about to take a dramatic (for me) turn in a new direction. After 22 years on staff and a lifetime of attendance, I'm about to leave my home church and embark on a new season. Last fall my husband took a teaching job that requires an hour drive each way. We wanted to give it a while to settle in to see if this might require a move on our part and so, as the school year is winding down - and the daily drive seems longer with every passing day - we have made the decision to move. Lots of people move. But not us. We are the Rock people. We are Giant Oaks with deep roots.

I've felt this stirring, this shifting, this moving in my spirit for several years now. It was only the job and the drive that motivated my husband however. He just couldn't see any logical reason to leave. Now we have one. Now the door is open. If we do not walk through it now, we never will.

I thought that was my greatest fear - to live and die in the same small town, to never experience life outside Lewis County. I've yearned for a move, prayed for it, actually begged God for it, and now it's here and I'm terrified. But not in the way you'd expect.

I'm excited at the prospect of a new church and making new friends. I've wondered what it would be like to walk into a church, into a community where I have no history. Will people like me? Will I fit? Will I have an opportunity to blossom and grow? Or, will people shut me out, and be threatened by the presence of a new-comer? These are the things I've heard over the years from people who have moved into our little town and into our church. Some, like me have come from a place of authority and position - a place where they were the go-to girl. They have complained - sometimes bitterly - that they can't break into the "clique" - that no one will let them do what they were called to do.

One of the things I don't understand about this move is that while my husband has a job, I have nothing. No new ministry position to step into. I feel that I am just beginning to peak in knowledge, skill and wisdom. I know the call of God is still on my life, yet I am stepping into the black hole called "transition." The very word implies a move into something new - a new direction, position or ministry. I'm afraid that I will get as stuck in the "transition" phase of my life as I have been in this last, long season. I'm afraid I never will actually "transition." I feel exposed and vulnerable.

I'm also afraid that I'm making a mistake. I'm afraid I'll end up like Violet Biggs in It's a Wonderful Life. I'm afraid I'll come slinking sheepishly back to Chehalis. "Silly me. What was I thinking? This is home."

I think that's why the word COURAGE has become my new favorite word. I'm not naturally a courageous person. I'm not a risk taker. But I believe God has opened this door and I'm going to swallow my fear and walk through it. I'm speaking Joshua 1:9 out loud over my life:
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” 

Because He is with me, I will not fear.