I Love THE Church

I've never been able to choose my church before. I was (almost) literally born at my home church. My parents are charter members. Though I have friends and family who are part of different faith communities and I have visited their churches, I have never had the opportunity to explore other options. Bethel was home - the place and the people. Every single significant life event happened there. I got saved there, baptised there, married there, dedicated my babies there. I grew up in the affirming and sheltering presence of people who loved Jesus and loved me. My home church was the place I practiced my musical skills, where I learned what it meant to live a life of faith; it's where I discovered my call to ministry; it's where I was given the freedom to lead in many different areas - some more effectively than others. My husband of 38 years hasn't really had a choice either, bless his heart. He grew up in a different denomination, but because he loved me and because Bethel was my "home", he joined me there and learned to love it as well.

When new folks would come to our church I listened to their stories and heard how scary it was to find a new church, how often the church and its ministries felt closed to them; I heard about the cliques and how hard it was to find a friend and to "break in" to the "inner circle." I'm sure I must have looked like a deer in the headlights. I had no idea what they were talking about. My mom used to say, "If you want friends, you have to be friendly." (I think there's a Proverb about that...) I really didn't get their point of view. Turns out - I still don't.

We moved to a new town. We're looking for a new place to worship and find community. The search for a new church home has begun. We've only attended two churches so far, but I can already see how difficult the choice is going to be.

The first church we visited was very much like our home church in Chehalis. So much so, that it would have been very easy to just slide in and get comfortable. I already had some acquaintances there and it was the same denomination I grew up in. This church makes "sense" since I am an ordained minister with the Assemblies of God. We got in the car and my husband said with a slight bit of resignation, "We'll probably end up here." He liked it, liked the sermon, liked the people - but I did feel sort of sad that I already had "friends" there and he did not. It didn't seem quite fair somehow. And, a part of me does not want to be comfortable. I want to learn and grow from this new experience. So, even though the part of me that likes easy and comfortable would have liked to make a decision that very day and never try another church, I promised that we would try a couple others.

Yesterday we attended a community church. It is the oldest church in town and though it is non-denominational, it definitely has a more traditional feel. The pastor is Presbyterian, so it probably leans that direction. We attended Sunday School and the Traditional Service because they still have a choir. (One of David's desires is to attend a church that still embraces all forms of music) The choir was, eh. But the people were marvelous. A sweet older couple (Older is relative I know - they are well into their 80s) invited us out to dinner. We completely enjoyed the company. We still have at least one other church we'd like to visit, but this one is definitely a possibility. We plan to go back for their contemporary service.

I came away from Sunday wishing I could go to all the churches. All this left me with one firm conviction. I love THE Church (capital C). Not just my home church, or the AG church in town or this community church, I love the Church of Jesus Christ. She is diverse and wonderful and I'm so glad to be a member of that Church.

C-C-C-C-Courage!

My life is about to take a dramatic (for me) turn in a new direction. After 22 years on staff and a lifetime of attendance, I'm about to leave my home church and embark on a new season. Last fall my husband took a teaching job that requires an hour drive each way. We wanted to give it a while to settle in to see if this might require a move on our part and so, as the school year is winding down - and the daily drive seems longer with every passing day - we have made the decision to move. Lots of people move. But not us. We are the Rock people. We are Giant Oaks with deep roots.

I've felt this stirring, this shifting, this moving in my spirit for several years now. It was only the job and the drive that motivated my husband however. He just couldn't see any logical reason to leave. Now we have one. Now the door is open. If we do not walk through it now, we never will.

I thought that was my greatest fear - to live and die in the same small town, to never experience life outside Lewis County. I've yearned for a move, prayed for it, actually begged God for it, and now it's here and I'm terrified. But not in the way you'd expect.

I'm excited at the prospect of a new church and making new friends. I've wondered what it would be like to walk into a church, into a community where I have no history. Will people like me? Will I fit? Will I have an opportunity to blossom and grow? Or, will people shut me out, and be threatened by the presence of a new-comer? These are the things I've heard over the years from people who have moved into our little town and into our church. Some, like me have come from a place of authority and position - a place where they were the go-to girl. They have complained - sometimes bitterly - that they can't break into the "clique" - that no one will let them do what they were called to do.

One of the things I don't understand about this move is that while my husband has a job, I have nothing. No new ministry position to step into. I feel that I am just beginning to peak in knowledge, skill and wisdom. I know the call of God is still on my life, yet I am stepping into the black hole called "transition." The very word implies a move into something new - a new direction, position or ministry. I'm afraid that I will get as stuck in the "transition" phase of my life as I have been in this last, long season. I'm afraid I never will actually "transition." I feel exposed and vulnerable.

I'm also afraid that I'm making a mistake. I'm afraid I'll end up like Violet Biggs in It's a Wonderful Life. I'm afraid I'll come slinking sheepishly back to Chehalis. "Silly me. What was I thinking? This is home."

I think that's why the word COURAGE has become my new favorite word. I'm not naturally a courageous person. I'm not a risk taker. But I believe God has opened this door and I'm going to swallow my fear and walk through it. I'm speaking Joshua 1:9 out loud over my life:
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” 

Because He is with me, I will not fear.