A Decision

Well - we finally made a decision about our new home church. It's been a weird six months. At first the freedom of not HAVING to be at church was wonderful. We've done a lot of visiting, missed church entirely a couple of times and generally just did what we wanted to do on Sundays (and weekends). But I've known all along that we would have to settle in and make a decision - and it was a hard one.

We tried five different churches and liked them all really. The easiest and most comfortable choice would have been Columbia Heights where we already have relationship. But a part of this whole adventure was to make sure we were NOT just comfortable. I particularly wanted the experience of walking into a church where I knew no one and no one knew me. New Life is the only church out of the five that fit that criteria. We've attended four Sundays now and have even gone to Sunday School a couple of times and really feel that this is the place God wants us for now. The tipping point was the preaching. Pastor Tony is a Bible expositor. He just opens the word and preaches verse by verse. That was on our list - really at or near the top of our list. Today we went to the "newcomers lunch" and I'm going to go to the prayer meeting tomorrow night and the ladies Bible study on Wednesday. I feel like I need to wade in to involvement and not just sit on the outside. However, I'm far from wanting to be in any kind of leadership. The church has a choir that will start rehearsals for an Easter production next week and I think (although we haven't decided for sure) that we will check that out too. Might as well I guess. It's good to have made a decision.

But at the same time I can't figure out why I have this tiny tinge of something - I'll call it sadness for lack of a better term. I found myself feeling like I wanted to cry several times during Sunday School, worship and the lunch that didn't have anything to do with being particularly moved by the Spirit. Maybe it's a little fear or insecurity? So far I don't have any red flags of caution and certainly have felt warmly welcomed from the very first. It's just hard to put yourself out there I guess. In the last few years I've developed the tendency to hold back a little - not wanting to get hurt. Even though I have committed to begin attending on Sundays and am trying out a few things, I'm still very tentative.

So we're beginning a new year at New Life church. Isaiah 43:18-19 says this from The Message:
“Forget about what’s happened;
    don’t keep going over old history.
Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new.
    It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it?
There it is! I’m making a road through the desert,
    rivers in the badlands.

I want to be alert and present to the new thing God is doing in my life. I'm ready, Lord.