Holy

For the first time in more years than I can remember, I am not caught up in the church-world vortex of Easter weekend preparations. No flyers to hand out. No rehearsals to attend. No events to coordinate or volunteer for. No worries about how many people will come to services and how many services shall we hold to contain the CE (Christmas/Easter) crowd. No over-the-top egg hunts. No stage decor to arrange. No songs to prepare. All I have to do this week is be present in the magnificence of the Holy Week.

It's different for sure. It's sobering. I feel a sacred anxiety in my chest. I am seeing Jesus' roller coaster of emotions during his last week as the God/man.  His resolve as he entered Jerusalem for the last time. His sadness over those who could not, or would not believe him. His anger at injustice and oppression. His tenderness with disciples. His very real, very human grief over what he must suffer. His courage in the face of the most horrific of deaths.

I hear Jesus' words:
"My house will be called a house of prayer..."
"If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."
"...many are invited, but few are chosen."
"The greatest among you will be your servant."
"Woe to you..."
"Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of many will grow cold."
"Heaven and earth will pass away, but my words will never pass away."
"Take and eat; this is my body."
"I tell you the truth, this very night, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times."
"Sit here while I go over there and pray."
"My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done."

This year, I'm walking with Jesus through his final days without the trappings of 21st century Christianity. I'm holding on to every precious moment. Someday, when (if) I am in the trenches of church ministry again, I want to remember and resist the temptation to go back to the old way of thinking. I want to hold on to this feeling of mystery and awe and the knowledge that this week represents the most shocking, sobering, thrilling and liberating event in all of history. The redemption of mankind through Jesus death on a cross, and the promise of eternal life because of his resurrection. Thomas Merton said, "Easter is the mystery of our redemption. We who have died and risen with Christ are no longer sinners. Sin is dead in us. The Law has not further hold on us."

So now there is no condemnation to those who belong to Christ Jesus. For the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed us from the power of sin that leads to death.