It's just David and me here at home these days. Our house used to be so full and noisy. Now the only sound is the radio or TV; the sound of my husband's happy whistle as he works outside; the scrape of dishes; snatches of conversation. But most of the time it's just quiet. I used to love the early morning because it was the only time the house was truly quiet.
So, why do I still love the early morning? Because it's a different kind of quiet. It's like getting to a concert early to get the best seat. It's anticipation (sometimes dread) for the day ahead. I like morning because the quiet of the early morning speaks of hope.
I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
My soul waits for the LORD
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.
Psalm 130:5-6
Saturday, June 23, 2012
Friday, June 22, 2012
Looking for a home
This is a strange season. I feel spiritually homeless without a church home. Every week David and I look at each other and say, Where are we going to church this weekend? I've never had to ask that question in my whole life. Bethel Church has been home to me since I was born.
We've been talking - David & I - about what we will be looking for in a church when we move south. I know there's no perfect church - no perfect pastor. I'm not looking for perfection. And, we probably won't be able to find everything on our list. (partly because we have some - eh hem - differing opinions on this subject...) Here are the characteristics - the qualities we're looking for in our new church.
1. Multi-generational. I love old people, but a church full of old people speaks of people who only care about themselves, who are not willing to make changes and adjustments to include younger families. It speaks of a church full of people who have not taken their responsibility to speak of God's faithfulness to the succeeding generations. On the other hand - I don't want a church that is comprise of ONLY young people - as refreshing as that may be for a time. David & I attended Mars Hill a couple of weeks ago. I looked around and thought, Where's the wisdom in this church? Who mentors all these young families? A church full of only young people speaks of the same inflexibility that a church of only old people does. It's all about me - my preferences, my likes and dislikes. I want to attend a church where there is respect and value for all the generations because that's what the body of Christ is supposed to look like.
2. Music of all genres is valued. This is David's #1. Music has always been important to us. I think we're both past the desire to do big musical productions like the Singing Christmas Tree (well I am anyway), but both of us love a worship service that incorporates "psalms, hymns and spiritual songs." A place where there is quiet reflection and joyous celebration; where a classical piece can be played or sung alongside a guitar-driven newly composed song; a place where the people on stage reflect the multi-generational value of the body of Christ.
3. Biblical preaching. There is nothing wrong with sermon series based on current topics. But I would love to sit under a preacher who simply opens the Word of God and talks straight about what God says. My concern for many churches is that we have created a "just add Jesus" gospel - where adding Jesus to your life makes things better, more convenient. Just add Jesus and you get into heaven - you don't have to do anything - change anything. You just add Jesus to your existing set of values and principles. The Jesus I see in the New Testament says that we trade our old life for His - we don't just add him to ours. He says we die to ourselves and take on a new life in Christ. I'm afraid we've missed that part.
4. Financially responsible. I don't want to go to a church that spends a disproportionate amount of money on it's building - and (dare I say it?) staff. Coming from someone who has taken a good paycheck from the church for over 20 years, this is a big revelation to me. I'm not opposed to paying pastors and I would love to serve on a church staff again at some point. I don't want to go to a church that borrows money to build buildings. I'd love to see a church that places value on caring for it's people - not the building or staff. A simple place where needs are met.
I have the feeling this church will not be a "mega" church. But that remains to be seen.
It feels strange to be "shopping" for a church. It would be simpler if we just went to the AG church in town. *sigh*
We've been talking - David & I - about what we will be looking for in a church when we move south. I know there's no perfect church - no perfect pastor. I'm not looking for perfection. And, we probably won't be able to find everything on our list. (partly because we have some - eh hem - differing opinions on this subject...) Here are the characteristics - the qualities we're looking for in our new church.
1. Multi-generational. I love old people, but a church full of old people speaks of people who only care about themselves, who are not willing to make changes and adjustments to include younger families. It speaks of a church full of people who have not taken their responsibility to speak of God's faithfulness to the succeeding generations. On the other hand - I don't want a church that is comprise of ONLY young people - as refreshing as that may be for a time. David & I attended Mars Hill a couple of weeks ago. I looked around and thought, Where's the wisdom in this church? Who mentors all these young families? A church full of only young people speaks of the same inflexibility that a church of only old people does. It's all about me - my preferences, my likes and dislikes. I want to attend a church where there is respect and value for all the generations because that's what the body of Christ is supposed to look like.
2. Music of all genres is valued. This is David's #1. Music has always been important to us. I think we're both past the desire to do big musical productions like the Singing Christmas Tree (well I am anyway), but both of us love a worship service that incorporates "psalms, hymns and spiritual songs." A place where there is quiet reflection and joyous celebration; where a classical piece can be played or sung alongside a guitar-driven newly composed song; a place where the people on stage reflect the multi-generational value of the body of Christ.
3. Biblical preaching. There is nothing wrong with sermon series based on current topics. But I would love to sit under a preacher who simply opens the Word of God and talks straight about what God says. My concern for many churches is that we have created a "just add Jesus" gospel - where adding Jesus to your life makes things better, more convenient. Just add Jesus and you get into heaven - you don't have to do anything - change anything. You just add Jesus to your existing set of values and principles. The Jesus I see in the New Testament says that we trade our old life for His - we don't just add him to ours. He says we die to ourselves and take on a new life in Christ. I'm afraid we've missed that part.
4. Financially responsible. I don't want to go to a church that spends a disproportionate amount of money on it's building - and (dare I say it?) staff. Coming from someone who has taken a good paycheck from the church for over 20 years, this is a big revelation to me. I'm not opposed to paying pastors and I would love to serve on a church staff again at some point. I don't want to go to a church that borrows money to build buildings. I'd love to see a church that places value on caring for it's people - not the building or staff. A simple place where needs are met.
I have the feeling this church will not be a "mega" church. But that remains to be seen.
It feels strange to be "shopping" for a church. It would be simpler if we just went to the AG church in town. *sigh*
Monday, June 18, 2012
This is how it feels to be free...
OK - it's a bit of a joke, but really, free - that's pretty much how I feel right now. It's been just about two weeks since I had any responsibility at the church and I can't tell you how great it feels! (And yes - I mean that exclamation point!!!)
I wondered how this was going to feel. Would I grieve? Would I regret my decision? Would I long to be back in the fray of the church leadership world? So far the answer to all of those questions is a resounding, NO! (Another exclamation point!) I had a crazy dream the other night that I "forgot" I wasn't working at the church any more and showed up for staff meeting. No one seemed to notice, so I participated like normal. Then I went to my office and discovered that it had been painted with murals on every wall, and there were at least 3 people working there. I suddenly remembered that I didn't work there anymore. I laughed and walked out. It didn't even bother me that everything had changed. That's really how I feel. I know things are different now and (don't take this wrong) I don't care. I've shaken my head a couple of times at some of the changes I've heard about, but it just really does not bother me.
I get up every day with my own agenda and I love it. I may not love it so much in a few weeks when I start to feel the financial pinch, but right now I feel that it is a gift. I've been working hard on my writing for class (and I'd better get back to that right now...) and enjoying my family. I've been cooking dinner again (my husband likes that), I'm not spending nearly as much money on eating out and groceries. I've been exercising again and eating better. All in all, this has been the best decision I've made in a very long time.
Only God knows what the future holds. Maybe after a time I'll be ready to jump back into the church leadership world again. But so far I've loved just going to church (or not). I've completely entered into worship and engaged in the teaching. And when I go home, I take that feeling of peace home instead being exhausted and already thinking about all I have to do for the next week.
So Lord, what's next? Only He knows, but for now I'm going to completely enjoy this freedom.
I wondered how this was going to feel. Would I grieve? Would I regret my decision? Would I long to be back in the fray of the church leadership world? So far the answer to all of those questions is a resounding, NO! (Another exclamation point!) I had a crazy dream the other night that I "forgot" I wasn't working at the church any more and showed up for staff meeting. No one seemed to notice, so I participated like normal. Then I went to my office and discovered that it had been painted with murals on every wall, and there were at least 3 people working there. I suddenly remembered that I didn't work there anymore. I laughed and walked out. It didn't even bother me that everything had changed. That's really how I feel. I know things are different now and (don't take this wrong) I don't care. I've shaken my head a couple of times at some of the changes I've heard about, but it just really does not bother me.
I get up every day with my own agenda and I love it. I may not love it so much in a few weeks when I start to feel the financial pinch, but right now I feel that it is a gift. I've been working hard on my writing for class (and I'd better get back to that right now...) and enjoying my family. I've been cooking dinner again (my husband likes that), I'm not spending nearly as much money on eating out and groceries. I've been exercising again and eating better. All in all, this has been the best decision I've made in a very long time.
Only God knows what the future holds. Maybe after a time I'll be ready to jump back into the church leadership world again. But so far I've loved just going to church (or not). I've completely entered into worship and engaged in the teaching. And when I go home, I take that feeling of peace home instead being exhausted and already thinking about all I have to do for the next week.
So Lord, what's next? Only He knows, but for now I'm going to completely enjoy this freedom.
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